I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
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I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize