Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
