aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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