as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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