I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
