Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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