You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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