I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
