Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
