I CAN MOONWALK!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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