Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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