he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob