I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
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he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
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And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"