the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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