All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
