i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
