I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
