You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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