my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
