I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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