Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize