I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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