Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
