I'm jealous of your bromance
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
