I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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