Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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