Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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