All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
