Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
