You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
