this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Say something about gay babies.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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