I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
