in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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