If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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