That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
