so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
