I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
