New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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