my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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