I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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