why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
