ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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