He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize