hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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