"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
