I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
