Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
