yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize