All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize