I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
