Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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