So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
