If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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