I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
