you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
