His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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