I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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