yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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