these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box