remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I stole an accordion from the bar
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again